


The Better Avengers™

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Compound, Domestic Avengers, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28203795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: basically a crackfic :))this one is multiple discord servers, random shit goes down and i might incorporate a field trip?? maybe?? but this is just for laughs. i forgot to explain the actual fic uh sorry so everyone is coming to the compound for reasons unknown :))rated T for language :) it's not very clean bois
Kudos: 7





	1. i made our son cry

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! thanks for clicking :))  
> if you're confused on the usernames just lmk and i'd be happy to explain :)))
> 
> anyway enjoy!!

The Better Avengers™

yeeterparker  
hey guys :))

imroyaltylmao  
hello mr. parker

yeeterparker  
excuse me shuri no need to be so formal we’re literally on a discord server 

imroyaltylmao  
Oh k 

castheant  
hello?? good afternoon???

yeeterparker  
hello cassie welcome to the funky discord server for The Better Avengers™

castheant  
what does that even mean

yeeterparker  
aight so basically ur coming to the compound bc why tf not and i decided to make this very nice discord server so we can do pranks and have f u n 

castheant  
k

imroyaltylmao  
ok but peter like i think there’s a real reason why we’re coming?? like why would everyone be called for a meeting suddenly??

yeeterparker  
ur such a party pooper shuri :((

->cooperhawk hopped on  
->a wild lilaby appeared

yeeterparker  
ello lauvs

lilaby  
hello and since when are we coming to the compound 

yeeterparker  
oops i guess clint didn't tell y’all but everyones coming up to the compound like soon?? like this weekend or smthing

cooperhawk  
how did u know and we didn't 

yeeterparker is typing…

imroyaltylmao  
bc he listens in on every single avengers meeting that ever existed

yeeterparker  
NOT TRUE!!!111!!!  
only ones i deem important ;) 

cooperhawk  
uh and they let you?????

yeeterparker  
technically, no  
but is it eavesdropping if i dont fall?

castheant  
huh

magicfingers  
peter. go. to. sleep. 

yeeterparker  
urg wanda ur so annoying 

magicfingers  
i stg i will go get steve or like pepper or smthing and they will take your phone for eternity 

yeeterparker  
dont you fucking dare 

imroyaltylmao  
do it wanda 

cooperhawk  
do it wanda 

castheant  
do it wanda 

yeeterparker  
OI NO DONT  
STOP WANDA  
WANDSA  
WANSDDK  
STOP I HEAR UR FOOTSTEPS  
STOP LAUGHING  
EH  
GET BACJ 

magicfingers  
guess who i told 

yeeterparker  
i fucking hate you 

imroyaltylmao  
who do tell wanda  
do tell 

magicfingers  
just wait for it 

yeeterparker is typing…

yeeterparker  
Hello everyone. This is Steve. Peter’s phone has been taken away for tonight. Have a good evening. 

imroyaltylmao  
WANDA YOU MADLAD  
YOU FUCKING DID IT  
LMFAOOAOAOAO NOT STEVE  
NOT STEVE  
PLS,,,,,,THIS IS SENDING ME 

magicfingers  
goodnight bitches 

castheant  
the language in this house,,,,,,,

lilaby  
@cooperhawk pls go to sleep if we’re going to the compound i literally cannot deal with u being cranky

cooperhawk  
bruh

lilaby  
gn guys <3333

castheant  
gn <3

yeeterparker  
WANDA.  
WHERE ARE YOU  
I'M GOING TO BEAT UR ASS RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW  
STEVE  
SAT  
WITH ME  
UNTIL I FELL ALSEEP  
DONT BE A FUCKING PUSSY 

magicfingers  
yo calm urself  
i can rip your spine from your back without touching you are you sure u wanna go 

yeeterparker  
SDJIODHFIHJGJSGHJFGSHJGFHJSFGSJH

imroyaltylmao  
aight so we’re coming like,,,,,,today or tomorrow or smthing 

yeeterparker  
kk thats k00l 

magicfingers  
peter,,,,,,,, 

yeeterparker  
yeah what do you want ms. meanie 

magicfingers  
LMFAO NO PLS STOP PLS PLS PETER  
UR NOT INTIMIDATING  
STOPPPP

yeeterparker  
ill turn on instant kill  
karen will kill you 

magicfingers  
oop say bye bye to your suit  
tony will not like this 

yeeterparker  
dont bring mr stark into this 

magicfingers  
BROOOOO  
U LIVE WITH HIM  
U LIVE IN HIS HOUSE THIS IS YOUR HOME  
WHY DO YOU CALL HIM MR STARK AHDKGDHSJGFHD

imroyaltylmao  
imagine  
that’d be like me talking to my mom and being like YoUr HiGhNESs every time 

yeeterparker  
you guys r making me so sad :’( 

castheant  
thats what i strive to do ehhehehe  
wait peter do u not have school rn 

yeeterparker  
SHIT AHHAHA THANKS FOR REMINDING ME  
WAIT ITS A 2 HOUR DRIVE  
CAN SOMEBODY PLSSS CALL MR STARK IDK WHAT TO DO BRUSHSHS

magicfingers  
ur on the server,,,, ask somebody urself 

yeeterparker  
rightright 

avenging stuff 

yeeterparker  
hello everyone <33

mamaspider  
hi peter 

yeeterparker  
ahem so i kinda forgot about school,,,,,,,and i need to get there can somebody pls pls take me i'm so sorry 

mamaspider  
you know i would but it takes like 2 hours on my motorcycle :((

yeeterparker  
thank you anyway aunt nat ily 

THORODINSON  
HELLO MAN OF SPIDERS I CAN TAKE YOU TO YOUR ‘SCHOOL’ 

yeeterparker  
really?? Thats so nice thank you sm mr. thor <3 

THORODINSON  
YES. MEET ME ON THE ROOF. WE SHALL ARRIVE AT YOUR PLACE OF LEARNING SOON. 

yeeterparker: thank you sm mr. thor i am forever in debt to you

THORODINSON  
NONSENSE YOUNG CHILD. YOU OWE ME NOTHING. 

thestarkman  
Peter we’ve discussed this 

yeeterparker  
imsorryryryryryryryryyryr

thestarkman  
is  
are you crying 

yeeterparker  
no  
no i amnt 

thestarkman  
@pepperoni i made our son cry 

pepperoni  
tony what did you do  
peter where are you are you ok to go to school 

yeeterparker  
yes thank you ms pepper :)) 

THORODINSON  
MAN OF SPIDERS AND I SHALL LEAVE NOW 

mamaspider  
bye bye peter 

hawkeyecaw  
woah nat are you showing emotion 

mamaspider  
shut the fuck up clint i dont need ur smellyass opinion 

hawkeyecaw  
uh  
k 

The Better Avengers™

magicfingers  
chathistory.png  
peter is tony’s son confirmed??  
peter parker is peter stark confirmed??

lilaby  
uh is that nat bullying my dad  
cooperhawk  
he can handle it 

castheant  
eh??

imroyaltylmao  
@yeeterparker  
@yeeterparker 

magicfingers  
what r u doing shuri  
he’s flying rn 

imroyaltylmao  
no im here to annoy him 

magicfingers  
ohhhhhh k then  
continue 

castheant  
wait r u sure that i'm coming to the compound 

imroyaltylmao  
uh  
idk ask peter  
oh wait  
uh u probably r ?? 

cooperhawk  
r we  
@lilaby ask dad rn  
rn  
rn

lilaby  
OK GEEZZZ

cooperhawk  
… 

lilaby  
yeah 1.he got mad like HoW DiD yOu KnOw 2. he said yes we are coming  
cooperhawk  
epic epic thanks 

castheant  
should i ask my dad <33  
make him a little mad  
hoes mad 

imroyaltylmao  
please do 

castheant  
anything for u shuri 

imroyaltylmao  
awwwwww

castheant  
he got so pissed  
he was like CASSIE WHAT HOW DID YOU KNOW WHO TOLD YOU WHO DID THIS  
but yes i'm coming ehehehhe

imroyaltylmao  
k well peter is too GoOd of a student to use discord in class so ig we just kinda,,,,,,,wait 

castheant  
like everyone else is kinda already at school 

imroyaltylmao  
oops  
well bye ig until u peasants r done school


	2. is it cold rn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shuri is coming soon :))))  
> more foolery happens and soon we'll get into some maybe plot??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again :))  
> yeah, maybe this fic has no plot, but if you're still here thanks for sticking it out  
> again, if there's any confusion i'd be happy to explain the usernames <33

yeeterparker:  
hello my amigos 

imroyaltylmao  
FINALLY 

castheant  
wait shuri did you figure out when ur getting there  
we’re leaving saturday morning at like 2am or smthing annoying 

imroyaltylmao  
we’re leaving tonight at dumb o’clock 

yeeterparker  
UR COMING TODAY????//???  
BRUHSHDKJSH I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO  
TAKE A LONG TIME 

imroyaltylmao  
peter  
peter  
wanda can u pls check on him is he having a panic attack 

magicfingers  
lmfaoo bold of you to assume i care 

yeeterparker  
bold of you to assume i  
yeah  
bold of you to assume 

imroyaltylmao  
??

castheant  
dudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss

lilaby  
yes cassie 

castheant  
hOpE iS coMiNG ToOoOoOoOOO

cooperhawk  
and,,,,,,,,

castheant  
AND THEY’LL LIKE BE IN THE SAME CAR EW  
LIKE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER EW GROSS LOVE BLEHHH

yeeterparker  
ah 

imroyaltylmao  
f in the chat for cassie  
f

cooperhawk  
f

lilaby  
f

yeeterparker  
f

magicfingers  
f

castheant  
thank you i was honestly so sad

yeeterparker  
quick question if karen were on this server would she be a bot or a user

imroyaltylmao  
peter idgaf  
didn’t you have so much to do 

yeeterparker  
TRUE TRUE SORRY BYE EVERYONE I GOTTA GET READY FOR SHURI

magicfingers  
i gtg on the other server ppl will be asking why he’s running around 

avenging stuff 

Steve.Rogers  
Does anybody know why Peter is running around the compound with paint?  
He is now screaming. Does anybody know what is going on?

magicfingers  
shuri is coming today 

thestarkman  
why am i never around for this that sounds fucking hilarious  
@honeybear pls take a video for me 

honeybear is typing…

pepperoni  
tony i see you’re online 

thestarkman  
thanks pep for that amazing observation 

pepperoni  
and yet i dont see those papers i asked you to sign 45 minutes ago on my desk

thestarkman  
OOPS 

pepperoni  
yeah oops is right get on that tony. 

yeeterparker  
hey i accidentally did something 

mamaspider  
peter… 

yeeterparker  
so i was making this nice sign for shuri right so i got the paint and i painted and i was so careful and then i put the lids back on bc i am a good child and then i lifted up the paper and it wasnt dry and now there’s paint on the floor

magicfingers  
im literally beside you there is 1 (one) drip on the floor

yeeterparker  
YES I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT 

thestarkman  
wanda literally blew a giant hole in the floor once  
with vision 

magicfingers  
mm yeah i remember that

fridaystwin  
yes that wasn’t the most pleasant experience ive ever had

hawkeyecaw  
I WAS THERE FOR THAT LMFAO IT WAS SO FUNNY  
VISION JUST  
AHAHAH

yeeterparker  
so yeah i did that i'm cleaning it now i'm very sorry for the trouble ive caused 

thestarkman  
literally nobody was affected by you 

honeybear  
im not taking a video

thestarkman  
thats kinda rude rhodey 

pepperoni  
tony. papers better be on my desk in 5 minutes 

thestarkman  
jesus ok 

The Better Avengers™ 

imroyaltylmao  
is it cold rn wherever you fuckers are 

yeeterparker  
OK I'M DONE  
also uh like a bit chilly i’d say 

imroyaltylmao  
wtf does that mean,,,,,

castheant  
oh yeah do yk how long we’re gonna b there for 

yeeterparker  
uhhhhh  
no  
and i cant ask anyone bc they dont know i know??

magicfingers  
they know you know shuri is coming  
reread the server

yeeterparker  
k but should i ask or no,,,,,,,  
maybe  
ill b back soon


	3. you're gonna kill her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> today shuri comes :))  
> if you're still here, ur the best <33

magicfingers  
bruh why is it so windy i stg it better not rain  
i need shuri here   
i can’t live with peter much longer 

yeeterparker  
um hey 

magicfingers   
please literally dont cry   
i cant   
@lilaby get over here

lilaby  
hello lauvs 

magicfingers  
what do i do he’s being annoying

lilaby   
uh   
fight 

imroyaltylmao  
fight   
fight   
fight 

cooperhawk  
fight   
fight   
fight

yeeterparker  
stop this treason 

imroyaltylmao  
ok we’re leaving like now   
we’ll be there in like idk 15 minutes 

yeeterparker  
YAY I CANT WAIT TO SEE U SHURI

magicfingers  
get here faster   
please

imroyaltylmao  
ok sorry lemme just tell the fucking plane to go faster 

yeeterparker  
where r u landing   
i need to meet u there  
also i made some new web fluid its rlly cool can i show you  
can we make real hoverboards when you come  
can we have a hoverboard race  
please

imroyaltylmao  
shut tf up right now or i'm turning the plane back around 

castheant  
you guys are being so mean to peter its not ok   
to do without me 

yeeterparker  
nice to know i'm loved 

lilaby   
you know we’re only joking <33

magicfingers  
im not 

yeeterparker  
im going to run around the compound while i wait for you now

magicfingers  
holy shit   
please let me leave   
should i just run away   
i would at this point 

castheant  
ooh ill join you   
hope and my dad have confirmed that they will be in the same car  
i’d like to leave

imroyaltylmao  
wanda ur right its so grey  
like why is it built like this 

yeeterparker  
ARE YOU HERE

imroyaltylmao  
yessir  
we have arrived

magicfingers  
imma just stay in the living room shuri  
Ill leave the awkward welcomes to peter 

avenging stuff

yeeterparker  
SHURI’S HERE SHURI’S HERE SHURI’S HERE SHURI’S HERE SHURI’S HERE SHURI’S HERE SHURI’S HERE

thestarkman  
yes. I know. i invited them

mamaspider  
tony let him be happy for once 

thestarkman  
but,,,,,,he’s like always happy

yeeterparker  
i agree with both of those statements

Steve.Rogers  
People, please. Stop fighting. 

thestarkman  
always the negotiator right steve

Steve.Rogers  
What do you mean by that, Tony?

thestarkman  
you know exactly what i mean bitch   
stay out of this 

yeeterparker  
AH

The Better Avengers™

yeeterparker  
OH NO   
SHURI STAY ON THE PLANE FOR A SECOND I NEED TO SCREAM  
I MADE CAPTAIN ROGERS AND MR.STARK FIGHT AHHH

imroyaltylmao  
holy fuck peter   
ive been here for what 2 seconds

yeeterparker  
I'M SORRYRRYRYR OK   
I'M COMING NOW   
BE READY  
I'M GOING TO JUMP AT YOU WITH A HUG   
SO BE CAREFUL

magicfingers  
dont  
you have superstretch   
youre gonna kill her   
peter  
peter??


End file.
